she looked like the bat from fern gully.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
