You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
