He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
