Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize