doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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