And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
