Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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