Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
