doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize