Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
