OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All the doctor said was why
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
