Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
