Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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