He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
