none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
