i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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