My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
