we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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