I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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