There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
