He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
