So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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