This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
