Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
MIDGETS
????
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
