Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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