HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
