i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The air was thick with penises
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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