Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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