"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
