check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
