Your tits are I can't wait for
This is not my ceiling
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
