i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
