You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize