Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
