i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
