I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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