Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
