Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize