i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
