He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
