he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
