Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize