You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He felt like a one man threesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
