Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
