whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
