Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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