a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
