She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The adults are the big ones right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
