I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize