I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
