Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
