I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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