In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
