"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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