If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
