You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I could make wine with my vomit
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
