STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
