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Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shame is for Republicans.
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