awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
