i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He did a backflip because drugs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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