Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
