Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
did you just send me my own nude
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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