Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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