Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
