are you still at the devil's house?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
