i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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