Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
