Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hippo gnu deer
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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