I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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